Personality Types

By Julie Hein

Do you consider personality types in your communications?  A little knowledge can be a great thing in any type of relationship.  Of course, these personality surveys don’t say anything about intelligence or mental health.  They’re more about generalities—like you prefer your left hand or right. 

For extraversion vs introversion—I think it’s pretty easy to identify who is who.  Extraverts are energized by dialogue.  Introverts have to go inside themselves to be refreshed.  Extraverts make decisions by talking.  Introverts make them alone where they can think things through in peace. 

So, what to do if you’re an introvert married to an extravert?  Your spouse may chase you around the house wanted to discuss things.  After a long day or if there is a decision to be made, he/she really needs to talk.  This might drive you crazy.

What if you’re the extravert and your spouse is an introvert?  Don’t be surprised if your spouse hides from you, goes into the bathroom for extended periods, etc.  Introverts just announce things.  They’re not looking discussion--they’ve decided.  

So, what to do to extend courtesy (and increase the odds of getting the communication that you need when you need it)?

For introverts, if you tell them something new, surprising or different, give them some time to process.  Give them a warning about the topic so they have time to prepare.   Make an appointment for a later interaction. Usually, trying to close an introvert is a bad idea.  They’ve either decided or they need some time to decide.  You can give them new info – and then wait. 

For extraverts, listen to them.  Talk to them more than you think should be necessary.  Try to time your interactions for when you have energy so they can also power up.  They brainstorm, make decisions and get energy when their mouths are moving. Closing a sale with them can be fine – “hey, shouldn’t we do this now?  Let’s move forward.” That’s not pushy—that’s conversational.